Category: Joke Board
The Top 16 Things That Don't Ease Your Fear of Flying
16> You recognize the pilot as the winner of the airport bar's
9:00 a.m. Jaeger Bomb contest.
15> As you're waiting to board you see your pilot buying extra
life insurance, a fifth of Scotch and the latest copy of
"Today's Jihadist."
14> Whenever someone gets up mid-flight to head to the lavatory,
the stewardess yells, "Dead man walkin'!"
13> You know your lunatic drunk of a former college roommate is
a pilot for a major airline.
12> Each passenger is being asked to bring a quart of oil in their
carry-on.
11> Watching the flight attendants demonstrate how to attach your
seat belt, put on your oxygen mask, inflate your life vest,
treat whiplash, apply a tourniquet, settle a flight insurance
claim....
10> The first class seat next to you is reserved for the spare
tire changer -- and his spare tire.
9> In addition to being able to purchase drinks, snacks, pillow,
and entertainment options, the flight attendant offers an
array of parachutes and casualty insurance options.
8> "Er... this is your stewardess speaking. Are there any,
um, *other* pilots on board?"
7> "Hello, and we are thanking you for with you us flying
Outsource Air!"
6> "Greetings: this is your pilot speaking. Since I know many
of you are seeing Manhattan for the first time, I'm going to
fly really low so you can get a great look at the buildings."
5> As passengers file onto the plane, you overhear the pilot
mutter, "Gosh, I guess we really are doing this, then."
4> You notice that the identification badge on your pilot's lapel
is for Taco Bell.
3> The stewardess makes "air quotes" with her fingers every time
she says "Captain."
2> Seeing other passengers go into a screaming mid-flight panic
-- especially when those passengers are on a different plane.
and the Number 1 Thing
That Doesn't Ease Your Fear of Flying...
1> The pilot's guide dog has a major attitude problem.
heheheheheheheh becky. lol
lol loved number one, the pilot's guide dog has an attitude problem.
Finding out your chair has radically changed shape from when you last saw it.
Stevie.